EPISODE 260: It’s Called Coming to America, Not Staying In.

I like those straws! That’s why your internet sucks. Like in business?  The nation’s boyfriend. I’m channeling my inner Ben Kessler.  Show me the receipts! Brit box? Because they hate money! Ones a gigabyte, one’s a nanobyte?

Episode 259: The Cult Of Leggings

It wasn’t a wardrobe malfunction, it was a wardrobe misunderstanding. Release the Kraken!!  If we can see the animal. Try to pin me mutha fuckas!!! He is a type A-.  He is going full Vader.  Incidental smoking.  Who is this movie for? GEEEEZUS.  And I thought my job was tedious.

Episode 257: A Bang And Some Glasses

Stinky Concert.  Height etiquette, Row 5’10”.  Everything is coming up Danielle!! Auntie Lynn.  Aqua Aqua.  We got movies for yaaa.  Ponch & Judy? Your ghost did this! It is all her fault cuz she has a vagina!  Find me the lucky ones.  Are you drunk enough to be funny?

Episode 255: SUHprize!

Special guests Kaliegh aka Miss Snikt and P.J. Guinto!  Maybe it was just a nightmare.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but maybe you need to get your eyes checked.  Treats from Canada, red berry bullshit and maple syrup.  I’m a womanizer, he’s a woman, we’re a womanizer.  50 shades lamer.  Jamie Bore-ning…. that was a Rebecca joke.  The colder it is, the whiter you get??  Not to typecast Tim McGraw.

Episode 253: Steamy Pile of Bananas

The mysteries of food delivery.  Hollywood handjob.  The Oscars talk!  Still nothing, thanks for the click!  Fake news.  Not a full twist, more like a head turn.  White Wall of China.  I clip the clips.  Not “The SHAQ”.  You wanna see god? Take this.  Steamy pile of bananas.  Go full fuckboy or go home.

Episode 252: Held Together With Cheese and Hope

Gotta pay $5 like everyone else to hear my inside thoughts.  Red Lobster is onsie fancy.  He’s the complete package.  More like Sim-bae amirite?? He’s so good he’s almost not John Travolta.  If you’re gonna be offensive, at least be funny.  I feel like you should be more careful with DNA.